(49 mins ago)
hi ---
What is there? Am I on a list? - which only people who are reaching out
to me here on a4a to bug annoy or waste my time? Partake in what is
called "Perversion of Time" ??
Undateable: Some Reflections on Online Dating and the Perversion of Time
Lucas Hilderbrand / University of California, Irvine
[ excerpts ]:
Future
The marketed temporality of online dating is futurity: that, if a user
logs in, they will find a partner. The allure of online dating is the
belief in a structure of possibility: in this utopia (virtual
non-place), you will find the perfect match. Using interfaces of
self-representation and algorithms of compatibility, various sites
suggest that there is, at least in theory, someone for everyone and that
the most efficient way to meet is via database calculations. More than
once, I’ve been advised that the only way to meet people is to go
online. This mythical structure of possibility suggests that, if you
keep searching, you will find someone, but also that there might always
be a better match in the future. There’s an illusion of unlimited
options and a continued hope that new and better matches will come
online. Thus, there’s also a recurrent temptation for deferral.
Finally, I’ll finish with a few words on the globalization of dating
habits for gay men: TV shows and films are not the only transnational
flow of media displaying/offering new ways of dating. Grindr works
worldwide, and for the one who finds himself at the border between Spain
and France, gay men from both countries log on the app at any hour.
Habits that are to be found on OK Cupid/Grindr in the US do carry over
in Europe, so that there is a worldwide leveling of dating etiquette:
ignore if you’re not interested, ask for more pictures if you are, and
ask “what are you into?” right away to waste as little time as possible.
If it’s a match, enjoy your sexual “gaytertainment”, and if not, you
simply have to say “Next.” ;-)